he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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