I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
