I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
