we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
