I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
