I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
