she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
