I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize