the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
