just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
