im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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