Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My vagina is officially offended.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
