Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
