i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
