god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
