every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
