Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
