you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
