I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
