Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the room spins SO much faster in panama
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
