why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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