garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Life is so much better after having sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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