I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
