I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
