why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
