Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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