I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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