yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
