when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize