Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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