her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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