Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
