I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
