absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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