So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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