the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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