I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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