i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
