i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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