Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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