yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize