I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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