please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
