Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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