I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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