Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
