She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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