it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
