Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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