i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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