Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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