loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
