And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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