My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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