there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
