So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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