I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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