yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
