ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
