I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize