the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
