I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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