: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
