If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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