Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize