Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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