I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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