with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
