I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize