My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
