i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
