You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
