there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
