So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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