One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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