a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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