i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
