I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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