How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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