She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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