Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
