i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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