can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
