Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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