we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
